From the Prayer Diary of the Mouse of God

By David Kitchingman in All Sorts

a quirky rethink of prayer

I'm just a humble church mouse - I never wanted a cathedral. ..............................
Sweetly the holy hymn Breaks on the morning air; Before the world with smoke is dim We sneak into our lair. ..............................

Mighty mouse which art in leaven, hollowed be your cheese. ..............................
I don't envy you. It's a hard life all right. 167 hours per week in solitary confinement. Then, for one hour, either unable to get a word in edgeways or having to eat some you spoke 2,000 years ago. ..............................
They keep on saying that you made them in your image. They hear what they want to hear. Why don't they listen more carefully? You made them in your garage! ..............................

I've been thinking about it. You're so big, so powerful, so brainy and so perfect. But do you know why I think we get on like a house on fire? You're as quiet as a mouse. ..............................

All things bright and beautiful, All creatures great and small, Blue whales, mice, so wonderful You rightly made us all.
But middling ones like human kind And felines, not so well; You made them cruel and horrible, As I can surely tell. ..............................

Give us this day our daily mousetrap, and forgive us our twins. ..............................

I really loved the mike and the choir this morning - they were just so squeaky. ..............................

I don't want to be nosey, and perhaps I'm actually a little jealous, but why did you have to produce such a long tale? And such a curly one? ..............................

We love the place, O God. Wherein thine honour dwells; The joy of highest code All seismic risk excels. ..............................

Lead us not into termination but deliver us from weevil. ..............................
You have such a lovely home here. All I'm asking for is a mouse pad. ..............................

Amen to that address a while ago on the Jesus Seminar! To think that among the top three most authentic sayings of Jesus was "Blessed are the poor", or "Congratulations, you poor ones" according to the Scholars Version. Of course, to qualify they have to be as poor as a church mouse. ..............................

"Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature"? I'm sorry, but I'm not cut out to be a field mouse - I get cold feet. ..............................

That Interfaith Council meeting last month in the church - it knocked the living daylights out of me. I mean, I've always lived such a sheltered life. How was it with you? ..............................

I have this gnawing feeling - you, God, need a less human face, and humans need a more godlike grace. I once said that aloud and only escaped by a whisker.
David Catchingman