The best of friends.

By George Davis in All Sorts

a personal story of finding Christ as best friend

Connections - The best of friends
George Davis
John O’Donohue, Irish poet, author, priest and philosopher b. January
1956, died January 2008. He is best known for spreading knowledge of
Celtic spirituality. He used the term Anamchara which means soul
friend - an essential part of spiritual development. The Mother Saint of
Ireland, Brigid of Kildare counselled a young cleric “that anyone
without a soul friend is like a body without a head.” A soul friend is a
“compassionate presence.”
This was used as a first or centering piece in Mornington Methodist
Church service on Sunday morning, 14 June 2026. I agree with the
sentiment expressed clearly by St. Brigid of Kildare. As a person who
grew up as an only child in Outram then Mosgiel from 1945 but with
loving parents who shunted me off to Cubs, then Scouts at 1st Mosgiel
Troop in the building opposite the church. Rugby from the age of eight
for the Taieri Rugby Club in Wickliffe Street on Saturday mornings in
winter and at the same time to learn the violin from Mr Les Borrow.
And all of this within easy reach of the Mosgiel Methodist Church each
Sunday. I’m not sure what was behind all of this activity for a skinny
weakling of a child. But I was never short of friends who shared in all
the activities and ventures. That may have been my parents’ aim of it
all.
As I grew older the ranks of close friends slimmed down. Early in high
school I remember a friend in the street – Denis Brown, the local
constable’s son we were very close through Standard 1 and up to the
4th form. Then in high school Pak Leng was what you might call a soul
friend – he was slightly older, wiser, and immensely clever with school
subjects. He and I were inseparable until he left high school at the end
of the 5th form to take over his family’s Bankside farm in Henley,
growing vegetables. He had blitzed School Cert. as I expected while I
received 197 marks out of 400 and spent another year growing up in
the Upper 5th. I missed him greatly, but in the next year he approached
my parents and asked he could learn the violin from me. Suddenly my
world had been adjusted to an even keel. School proceeded on to the
Upper 6th, and Wednesday nights were violin nights with Pak Leng.
Very good progress and in about two and a half years he was playing at
a very good Royal Schools Grade 5 standard. I learned much later after
he died that he had the violin of his grandfather Sam Young of Outram.
Once I went to Varsity our contact was mostly in holidays when I
picked Brussel sprouts in icy winter conditions for him. We had regular
jokes – he would debate with me about whether subject brightness
was intelligence or wisdom. We both knew where this was going and
the whole thing would dissolve in laughter. A real friend with whom no
subject was closed. We hit it off though from different cultures. He
died early, too soon.
At university and later during teaching there were other friends but
none with the “soul closeness” of Pak Leng. He was special and we
shared knowledge freely. I was greatly privileged to meet him at school
and there we had that bond of being strangers in a foreign land. No
matter what you think of me now, I was a rather shy, somewhat
nervous young man. Playing the violin in public terrified me though
playing in an orchestra I enjoyed. It must have seemed odd to
classmates that a skinny young rugby player scout was also keen on
the violin. I was encouraged by great teachers – like Englishman Mr
William Walden-Mills of the King Edward Tech staff whom I learned
from on Saturday mornings, and then a fantastic private teacher ex-
LSO player Mrs L. Challenger who ushered me up the grades. I
remember her best for unloading on to me her copies of the British
Strad magazine which she kept as a reward for bowing or fingering.
She was stern but with an engaging smile. She died suddenly when I
just turned 20 and tackling grade 8.
In my life I had the good fortune of having a few really close friends,
real “soul friends” in the way described by St. Brigid – who buoyed me
up, shared jokes, eaten meals with Judy and me and appreciated our
different views of the world. As a married couple for almost 60 years,
we share a very small company of close friends who have been
constant since the 1960s. We went to and took part in their weddings,
welcomed their children, many of whom have children of their own.
Time is racing past. Not in a disturbing way, happily, if not always
smoothly. But that doesn’t matter in the long run.
The end point for the life of all of us is the same. Like Sam Neill, the NZ
actor we know we will face death, not as a disaster but an
inconvenience. On the other hand, it will be a new start, a new
opening into a world not understood which is around us in the spirit
where we might in some unknown way rediscover soul friends. We
have chosen the redemption offered by God, through the death and
resurrection of Jesus Christ and with the support of the Holy Spirit.
Our soul, best friend ultimately is Christ who guides us in this earthly
path.