Keeping it short.

By David Kitchingman in All Sorts

David finds there is no shortage of short topics.

Hi Jo

I promised you that for once I would keep things short this time. No problem. No shortage of short things. I had to wear shorts to school till I was 17, and in those days the shorts were often the best part of going to the pictures. And there's still plenty of short topics to pick from. Here's a shortlist:

--The shortest day.
Last Monday, June 21, at 11.28 p.m. - the moment of the year when the sun was furthest north. World events don't get much bigger. Plus last night's partial lunar eclipse. So why does the church year ignore the earth year? We're accustomed to the idea of hymns reflecting the Southern Hemisphere. Why can't the lectionary do the same? 'While the earth remains...summer and winter... shall not cease.' And why not a telling of Maruaroa o te takurua, the Maori midwinter as well?

--Short history...
I wonder how many thousands of history books begin like that. It shows how indispensable, and merciful, the word short can be. Without it we couldn't cope with information overload. We demand short versions. No wonder Bill Bryson's Short history of nearly everything proved so popular. But for an even shorter cosmic history how about this one-liner from Brian Swimme? 'You take a great cloud of hydrogen gas, leave it alone, and it becomes rosebushes, giraffes, and human beings.'

--Shorter Oxford English Dictionary.
With one edition running to 3,750 pages, this is a reminder that shortness can be a very relative term. The six columns devoted to 'short' also reveal how higgledy-piggledy a thing is language. From a probable root meaning 'to cut' come first the physical references which are then extended, neutrally or prejudicially, to numerous other expressions. The ambiguity of 'short-sighted' is an example, and why should the 'short straw' be the unlucky one?

--Shortism.
This is a recent derivative from 'short', not yet recognised by the OED, for an indignity endured by those of smaller stature, probably ever since our ancestors became bipedal. Compare the recent publicity over Radio Edge's stunt, 'Hug a Ginga Day'. Drawing attention to any aspect of physical appearance that should be purely incidental to a person's true worth, even when the intent is innocent enough, still carries the potential for hurt and discrimination.

--Shortest verses.
We all know the shortest verse in the Bible. According to Randy Milholland, 'the only thing wrong with it is the past tense'. But what is the shortest verse in the Old Testament? I Chronicles 1:25: 'Eber, Peleg, Reu.' That's it. From the pathos of 'Jesus wept' to the bathos of three names among a genealogical list filling nine chapters. Yet the sense of divine destiny that preserved the names of these three men as ancestors of Abraham (and the faiths that claim him) still reverberates in the Middle East, sustaining a conflict that brings tears to the eyes of the world.

--The Shorter Catechism.
This famous Protestant catechism was composed by the Westminster Assembly of Divines in 1647. In distinction from the Larger Catechism it was seen by the Scottish General Assembly as suitable 'for catechizing such as are of a weaker capacity'. Wesley adapted it, but in Methodism it is all but ignored. Yet for all its Calvinistic (and patriarchal) bent, the first of its 107 questions and answers has a certain ring about it that still has some merit. 'What is the chief end of man? Man's chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him for ever.'

--Short (short) stories.
During the seven years that the Explorers Group has been meeting within the parish, I doubt if the word catechism has so much as been breathed. But a word that has frequently been mentioned is stories (whether told in prose or verse, or as parables). Often, too, we have set ourselves the challenge of keeping it short. Recently we invited ourselves to give shortish answers to the question, 'What will I not retreat from?' For one member the answer was simply, 'wisdom stories' - expanded later as, 'What I need is poetry that speaks to me, not credal statements'.

--Short time.
I refer not to a period of reduced working hours, but to Robert Herrick's poem, To Daffodils. 'We have short time to stay, as you / We have as short a spring'. The Psalmist put it even more bluntly, 'Remember, life is short!' (Psalm 89:47 CEV). Shortness is not just something we encounter all the time in language and life - it is life. But much as we may feel short-changed, is there any relief we can offer to each other during the fleeting moments that we share? Maybe -

--Shortest distance.
Victor Borge said that 'the shortest distance between two people is a smile'. But there's always a snag. Business research reported this month suggests that if you smile too quickly others may think you insincere, while slow grins are generally perceived to be more genuine. So back from Borge to the Bible. Granted that the length of Biblical verses is essentially a trivial matter, it is nonetheless intriguing that in the original Greek text of the New Testament the shortest verse is not 'Jesus wept' but 'Rejoice always' (I Thess. 5:16) - not quite the same, thankfully, as 'Keep smiling'.

Must away. In short, bye.

by David Kitchingman.

First printed as a Connections article in the Parish Weekly Bulletin, 27 June, 2010.